


Barrels 'O Fun

by norcumi



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Alcohol, Don’t copy to another site, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, GFY, Gen, Originally Posted on Tumblr, rescued from the tumblr purge, what happens when an unstoppable ray of sunshine meets an unmovable grumpy demonspawn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 15:56:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/norcumi/pseuds/norcumi
Summary: A Demon Hunter is reminded why she hates everyone, while a Warrior is Very Confused by booze. A Legion-era gift for a guildie based upon a world quest.





	Barrels 'O Fun

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mel_and_Christy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mel_and_Christy/gifts).



> Originally posted on Tumblr 2/09/2017 as a birthday gift to [Melredcap](http://melredcap.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Sooooo I play Warcraft. Since I am TERRIBLE at naming characters, I often take from things around me at the time (my battle pets are a good example. They’re this weird mix of clone wars and Valkyria Chronicles themed). So some Balance characters have ambled into my Warcraft experience, and vice versa. As a weird bonus experience, Mel has a whole swath of fun alts that make for glorious fic shenanigans, and thus this post is thanks to her.
> 
> For folks who play Warcraft, the other day there were Kirin Tor world quests. I adore the Ley Line races, I loathe the Like the Wind ones, and then there’s the Barrels o’ Fun.
> 
> This, for the non-Warcraft folks, is a shell game, done with barrels. Since each time you track it correctly, they add a barrel, but each time you guess wrong they reduce down one (to a minimum of 3) and you have unlimited guesses, I. Er. Tend to dick around and not pay much attention.
> 
> Somehow, this thing happened.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Characters:  
> Kaleesh: demon hunter, guild newcomer and often cranky  
> Amelorune: human fury warrior, silly, does not believe in PvP, tries to be everyone’s friend (often through the power of BOOZE)  
> Sozur: Night elf prot warrior, guild leader (not mine, though I have his player’s permission to write Shenanigans)  
> Valentinian: human mage (not mine, cameo’d with the lovely melredcap’s permission)
> 
> Mentioned but not seen:  
> Kharisa: Night elf death knight, guild second in command and (angsty) Mom figure  
> Kungas: Pandaran monk

“Hey! Hey, Kaleesh! Eesh. Eesh eesh. Y’know how I toldja about th’ barrel thing?”

“Oh _gods_.” The Illidari dropped her forehead into her palm, closing fel-bright eyes for a moment before glaring at the human to her right. “I _will_ kill you,” she growled.

Valentinian raised a brow, the weasel-faced mage looking even less impressed than usual. He took a long pull of cheap alcohol. “Me, but not Mel?”

“Oh, death would be too _quick_ for her. And you’re the one who badgered me into this tavern crawl in the first place.”

The mage sniffed. “Didn’t take that much arm twisting,” he muttered, but before she could do more than growl at him, he teleported away.

That also meant that Amelorune could slump against the bar where he had been, plate armor crashing against the wood. “Hi!”

Kaleesh bared her fangs. “I see Kharisa is letting you out without a leash again.”

The very drunk warrior beamed. “She sez it’s more fun tha’ way but I dunno why. An’ hey! Hey if I needa leesh you can–”

“Stop. Right. There. Or I will take one of those oversized swords of yours and beat you to death with the flat of it.”

That earned her a disgruntled-looking human pulling away enough to give her a long, suspicious squint. “Tha’s _really_ inefficvent. Fishent. Dumb.”

There were many days when she had to remind herself that a demonic invasion meant working with allies, this particular guild had accepted her without question yet with many supplies, and that killing one of the guild master’s pets would not go over well.

Oh, speak of the devil. “Sozur,” Kaleesh growled.

“Ishnu-alah,” he said with a casual nod, moving to perch on a barstool on the other side of Kaleesh.

Both of them ignored Mel’s frown as she tilted back towards the bar. “’Sides, Odyn likes me an’ he gets huffy if y’fuss about his toys.”

“He does,” Sozur agreed.

Kaleesh’s smile had too much fang to be believable. “I’ll have to mention that the next time he decides he wants to ‘spar’ against ‘worthy mortals.’ After I beat him again, of course.”

“It’s not any fun, otherwise.” Sozur grinned and motioned to the barkeep for new drinks for all three of them. The instant gold left the guild leader’s hand, Mel brightened.

“Oh! Right! Th’ thing!”

“The thing?” Sozur asked, turning to lean an elbow on the wood and look politely interested. Or, gods knew, maybe he actually _was_. Kaleesh didn’t much care either way.

Before she could sneak away, Mel grinned. “The barrel thing! Tha’ some’a the Krin – KY-rin Turs do f’r shits an’ giggles.”

Why Sozur was looking at Kaleesh for a translation, she had no idea. She rolled her eyes. “That… _thing_ some of the dwarven archmages do. Pick the full barrel of beer and they eventually cough up useful trinkets.” If it weren’t for that, she’d simply start dunking dwarves into barrels until they left her alone, but unfortunately they did have their uses.

Sadly, entertainment was not one of them.

“Ah, yes.” Sozur rolled his eyes. “‘Barrels o fun’ indeed.”

“Innit?!” Mel grinned. “An’ I told Kaleesh I’m good at that an’ she doesn’t believe me! So I’ma prove it!”

“No one’s good at that, and moreover no one cares.”

Mel wasn’t listening. Again. She chugged the last of her drink, then thunked the mug upside down over one of the empty shot glasses the overworked bartender hadn’t cleared. Sozur grinned. “I do enjoy this trick.”

“Don’t encourage her!”

Mel had to flag down the barkeep for a full shot glass, and when she had three upside down mugs over three glasses, she began spinning them across the bar. She was remarkably well-coordinated for someone at least three sheets to the wind. Worse, she noticed Kaleesh watching her. She kept swapping around mugs even while beaming at the Illidari. “Kungas sez if I work at it someday he mi’ teach me t’be a brewmaster.”

That was a terrifying notion. “If he does, I’m kicking that mutant furbolg off the top of Mount Hyjal.”

“Pffft. He’s Panda-ranian, he’ll bounce.”

“Pan-DAR-i – oh, never mind.”

Mel was ignoring her one way or another. She pulled back from the three mugs, hands up as if to indicate surrender – sadly not a likely outcome – or that she was done. Despite the pool of booze leaking out from under a single mug, Mel frowned down at the three like it was a mystery. Kaleesh slugged back the last of her drink. “That’s it, I’m gone.”

Sozur chuckled as Mel triumphantly lifted the wrong mug. “Don’t leave, she’s not done.”

“She’s – how drunk are _you_?”

He grinned, and Mel turned the mug back upright, frowning into it as if expecting to see another – full – shot glass within. “I’ve seen her do this before, and she _is_ good at finding booze.”

Mel picked up the second incorrect mug, and Kaleesh gave Sozur a pointed look.

“Ah, but you haven’t seen the best part yet.” Sozur emptied his mug. “Mel, pass me that cup behind you?”

She grunted, still giving the remaining mug a suspicious look. Without bothering to look behind her, she reached over and patted along the bar until she found another mug – right in the middle of a whole cluster of them. She fumbled it until she got the handle, then swung it around towards Sozur.

Kaleesh ducked, barely avoiding a cup to the horns. Sozur took it with a murmur of thanks that Mel mumbled some kind of retort to, before she lifted the last mug. “Th’ hell’s it doin’ there?”

“Hiding from you,” Sozur replied, smirking at Kaleesh until she stood back up. He angled the mug towards her, showing it was indeed full of beer. She blinked at it, then turned to look past Mel.

The cluster of mugs were almost all empty, and the few that had anything remaining were less than half full. She whipped back to Sozur, expecting some kind of quip, or admission that they’d been conning her. Instead, Sozur hefted the mug in a toast.

“She _is_ good at it. Just not so much when she tries.”


End file.
